Everything I want, I don't get. Well I'm not refering to materials like clothes or money but things that regard my future. I've been hardworking this sem, so why do I get grades I don't deserve? Quoting the famous "Special One", Jose Mourinho, "I am happy when the team doesn't play well and lose because we deserved to lose. But I am unhappy when we play well and yet we lose because the best team didn't win. I am unhappy because we deserved to win but did not win."
Long-winded as he may sound, but that is exactly how I am feeling right now. I used to think he was just bitter but now it makes sense. I've studied hard, prepared well, but the results aren't reflecting what I've done. I "deserved a win" but instead, have "lost undeservedly".
Maybe there is a conclusion to be drawn from this. I am not cut out for science. Though I like science, interesting as it is, it isn't cut out for me. So the future looks bleak for me. My hopes and aspirations to become a pilot hasn't fade away, but the chances are slim. Desire to teach science are still fuelled but seem unrealistic now. Janice's recommendations of going into marketing appear more realistic but the whole idea seems foreign to me.
So what now God? What have You in store for me? All I can do now is to wait upon You and put all my faith in You.
Jeremiah 29:11 says: ' "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ' So Lord, as Jacob, Moses and Abraham have once bargained with you, I now bargain with You too. Do reveal Your plans to me!